# rm - rf /

New MySpace

Wed, 17 Oct 2007 18:35:18 GMT

Shameless Props.

I'm chix0r.

Thanks.

http://myspace.com/binary_bitch

^HEll yeah

Give me your MySpace addys and I'll add you.

Or vice versa.

America the Great

Tue, 02 Oct 2007 01:43:39 GMT

I am constantly awake for no reason, and earlier in this week I had been frequenting one of the applications on Facebook called PostSecret.

Post Secret is a very popular blog, in which anonymous senders submit post cards to the provided address, and in turn Post Secret displays the cards on the website http://postsecret.blogspot.com.

This application (App) has migratated to Facebook. It has since devolved into relationship advice, often from users who claim to be 12 or 15.

One particular advice-seeker, a girl, asked--because she had feelings for the boy--that if he wanted to kiss/make out with her, despite his current girlfriend, should she do it?

To me, that answer was obvious. I replied, "Do not allow it! He is USING you! If they in fact break up, the pain you feel now will be so much worse when he cheats on YOU."

It was worth staying up until 3 o'clock the next morning when she responded, "that's all I needed to hear."

Photographic Memory

Sat, 22 Sep 2007 22:32:08 GMT

THIS STORY IS SO SHADY BUT TRUE...I HAVE THE PILLS IN MY DORM AND *GASP* I'M GETTING MORE OF THEM...!

Okay, so

I was tagging around a 3D graphics lab that was making a German-language immersive-design game for the OU Department of Modern Languages. I told them that I was a programmer, which I really wasn't, all that much. I totally embellished (faked) my resume and they let me in. This was in Putnam Hall, next to the @Lab.

One of the 3D artists took a shine to me. We kept in contact through the summer, and a few weeks before classes began, I called him.

It was one of those, "Oh, wow, it's good to hear from you!" deals. I didn't know if he really felt that way, because he sold me a terribly good pitch to buy his best friends computer, a $1900 confection that I was absolutely SURE that something was wrong with; he's too shady to let something like that go for that ridiculously cheap price. But he pitched me a hard sell, and because I trusted him, I agreed to look at it.

I conducted a phone interview with Mr._________ (3D design-artist friend) about J----'s computer. On the phone, I asked some questions. The processors were overclocked, 3.6 GHz and it had an insane 4GB HD. The graphics card was enough to just about make me pass out. However, when pressed, J---- admitted that it would need a new cooling system in about ~5-6 months, which I took to mean ~3-6 weeks.

J---- has a terrible reputation among the locals. He is a terrible friend, a pathological liar and incapable (or unwilling) of following through with promises. I was already predisposed to dislike him.

So anway, Mr._________ invited me to his house. Once I arrived, I looked at him computer with envy as he waved its specs in my face to watch me grimace with emotion; I wanted one just like it. And by "just like," I mean, 8GB RAM...what the fuck?

On the second visit, I believe, was where the real trouble began. He went into the darkened hallway and came back with a large bottle, the kind they use for nutritional supplements in drugstores. I asked what it was, and he said, Pi-------m. It (and he used this word so SERIOUSLY..."a nutritional supplement that

"Overclocks [one]'s Processor...the brain."

I was like, "Holy shit, and you take this?"

"Oh, yeah, I just pop 'em like candy."

"Uhhhh..."

"Oh, look. Here's the bottle."

I read it.

"Unique Nutrition; etc..." Are you sure this is safe to take?

"Yeah! Like I said, it overclocks your processors."

"So," I asked, not joking-but-not-really, "Where do you get this stuff?"

He gave me the bottle, which was about 1/4 full of pills. "I got this for you. When you described your symptoms, I thought of it immediately."

"I don't believe this shit! Tell me how this is legit?"

He pulled up a Wikipedia article on P-----tam. It looked all right there.

--

So in the end, I wound up taking the pills to my mother's house, whereupon I consumed two immediately. I called him up after a few hours.

"Oh my god! I feel so stable! This is so amazing!" I was so relieved and surprised. How was this happening?

--

When I finally got myself to a computer, I realized something. This helped me to remember and comprehend pictures, text and every aspect of internet more quickly; I was reading twice as fast and comprehending much more than I had been. The same for textbooks, I got better grades by studying less.

It's "no stronger than Vitamin C, and less addicting."

Oh, god.

I'm still taking this stuff. Looked it up on PubMed, seems all right.

Now it's come time to order more.

I don't really have that much cash to spare, but it's worth a try.

Sat, 22 Sep 2007 06:51:01 GMT

My favorite online friend from Ohio, only 40 minutes away, is moving to VA and probably not going to meet him. He and I were virtual lovers until May. God!

Here is our song. I wrote a (wishful) short story where he and I met, played DOA, and went to Wal-Mart. That would have happened on a Friday. Oh, oh. I'm almost in tears.

Oh, God. I don't know what I'm doing here. This is the most terrifying situation of my life, alone in America. Damn.

And this place is so damn cliquish.

Yeah, that's right...hooking up!

Wed, 12 Sep 2007 21:18:25 GMT

tee hee hee

Just found this by Googling myself. Oh so modest!

Whenever I wrote this, I congratulate myself for being hilarious. Do you think so?

Dislikes

Toggle keys, people who have horrible grammar and little or no knowledge of the English language that they speak, parents who keep no rein over their children. Bad TV movies. Flagrant disregard for the history of the computer revolution. Ignorance. Toggle keys, and that annoying pop music that the waifish (READ: overweight) middle-school children on my bus seem to enjoy. Racism. The idea of me having children. Being too lazy to get my driver's license. People who talk in chat-speak in real life. Media moguls controlling the internet (MySpace) and the idea of Senator John McCain as a professional gymnast.

Pet Peeves

Ugly chicks who wear shirts saying 'cutie pie' or 'hottie.' Or 'princess.' People who chew with their mouth open, people who talk while chewing with their mouth open. People who don't respond when you talk to them. Honky-Tonk music. People who don't believe in Social Darwinism. Pacifists.

Sorry, I was feeling kind of emo.

Tue, 11 Sep 2007 04:30:07 GMT

I just got accepted into Russ College of Engineering (FINALLY) and started making some friends who are, you know, actually as interested in interacting with me as I am with them.

Some compliments I've received...not to brag but more for my self-affirmation to see this in print:

My handwriting.

I'd been admiring my mother's grandmother's signature and writing style out of old cookbooks. I finally about a month ago asked my mother about her handwriting after about six years of looking at it and being envious. She practices a style of writing called, "Copperplate Calligraphy." She gave me a book about it, but I still need to purchase a calligraphy pen. One of the girls from my class I'm interested in loves my handwriting. In another class, I was turning in a paper, and someone exclaimed upon how much they liked it, saying, "My handwriting looks like chicken scratch next to that."

That was pleasing.

I liked going to JCon. It was one of those things that I just came out of my shell, the real me. I was probably loud, obnoxious and trying a little too hard, but still having fun. And I learned that Dikis' out of tune singing completely threw off my rendition of "A Whole New World," which sucked anyway because I was cracking up hardcore.

Listening to MC Chris. I pretty much hate his music. But I don't know if he gets as much ass as he claims. Next time he comes to Athens, I'll look into that.

In love with life.

Sun, 12 Aug 2007 03:53:38 GMT

I had such a great weekend. Thanks to the one who made it possible. I know you're reading this right now.

When I got back to Otterbein from Athens, I felt good. It was such a different feeling...most of the time, I've become accustomed to being miserable. But Otterbein feels like home now, and I was so glad to be back. I'll miss it...ironically it's become my home and I'll leave it for good next week. But I'll always remember the time that I had at camp. Being gainfully employed by the United Methodist Church was a little unsettling at first, but after a while I found it very pleasing.

I believe I've grown a lot over the summer, both spiritually and emotionally. I still have trouble hiding my emotions at some points, and I'm a little soft in the way of getting my feelings hurt or being embarassed. I'm getting better at these things. Life is full of these little trials.

I know I'm being vague.

I don't know how to begin.

Something that happened this weekend--well, something I said without thinking--caught my attention. I said that I wanted to be dominated (that sounds dirty but it's the word that fits the situation)...or maybe just domesticated. I am posessive but not jealous in a mean way.

Around you, 0okami, it's easy to be kind and pleasing; hopefully that's how I come across to you. You may be surprised to see how socially inept I sometimes am around other people, but you bring out the best in me. Why is that? I think it's just that I want you to know that not all girls are out to hurt you. I hope that you can be my "big brother." But I don't want you to be my slave. Now that I'm thinking about it, I do want to see more of Full Moon Phase, or what we watched Friday night.

I don't know...when I returned to camp, my heart felt full...full of happiness and love. I don't know, maybe it was the sickness in me, tricking me. But I don't think so. I was so proud, so glad to be alive that I sort of teared up. It was the perfect ending to an amazing summer.

It was the best feeling in the world. I still feel some of it now as I'm heading off to bed. Hopefully it will last until I see you again.

Elena.

Jessica Caple

Wed, 23 May 2007 18:19:05 GMT

I just discovered that a young man of my acquaintance is attending Stanford, of all places. I told him to go see Stanley, the Stanford Team Racing's car. Arguably the best car in the existence of mankind. In the words of Wired Magazine:

01. STANLEY
The Stanford Racing Team's autonomous vehicle is a modified Volkswagen Touareg that can scan any terrain and pick out a drivable course to a preset destination. Cup holders optional.

I also want him to

Visit Xerox PARC. Say 'hi' to Ankit Fadia, my favorite author. See if he can track down a Whole Earth Catalog. Basically do anything that I want to do if I was in Palo Alto right now.

*sob*

Strange Dreams.

Sat, 19 May 2007 19:16:58 GMT

I hung out at the Japan-Anime booth thing today uptown. Molly was there, looking pretty hot. And later, when I came back, I encountered (once more) Mr. W.L. I tried to talk to him, and maybe say that among men who are not "off limits" I have trouble talking to. When I opened my mouth, however, I couldn't think of anything, and mumbled something about blogging about his comment about looking to shack up with people.

Damn.

I suck at life.

Also...I had a dream that was very bizarre.

It began with me and a few of my acquaintances (whom I had formed earlier in the dream) running along where Court intersects W. Washington. There were aquamarine flags along the sides, maybe a couple of booths or something. It was winter, and strangely the snow we were running in was up to our waists and completely unbroken. When we reached the place where Court mets W. Union, the weather completely changed.

The air was hot and dry, and the part of the dream that I remember most vividly was running down to a place that was ON FIRE and trying to get everyone out.

I was sent on a mission by Kurt Vonnegut to find a key, and I ran all over looking for it. I finally found it beneath a low-hanging cloud, which was standing in front of a gated community.

I'm sure that this makes no sense, but I dream so vividly every night, long strange dreams. They are so intense sometimes that they interfere with my sleep. Hopefully they will go away soon enough.

It wasn't a bad dream, just interesting.

WOW

After this writing the above, something has occured. I went to Wikipedia and looked up "Kurt Vonnegut." There, in the article, it said:

"Kurt is also the younger brother of Bernard Vonnegut, an atmospheric scientist who invented the concept of cloud seeding, the process of artificial stimulation of rain."

I don't know what that has to do with my dream about Kurt Vonnegut and clouds. I've never read anything about or by Kurt Vonnegut.

Tough Lessons.

Fri, 18 May 2007 11:54:28 GMT

I was being interviewed for a position at a UMC church camp in Logan, Ohio. When asked the question, "What did you learn from your last job," I feel that my reply is (was) as good as anything I'll ever blog about.

1. You can't always trust everything anyone says, no matter how cordial or approachable they seem.

2. Don't expect people to care about you and certainly don't expect people to care about your opinions or doings. They do not give half a damn. (I'm still working on this one.)

3. People are petty. They insist on talking about and doing shit that makes no sense.

4. Being sensible of one's own strengths and weaknesses is invaluable to one's feelings of self-worth. Or maybe it is better sometimes to be in denial?

5. Don't ever expect to get called back by people who are too busy or too cool for you. You will only feel worse about going to bed on at 9:00 PM on a Saturday night because you've nothing better to do to occupy your time.

On a further note, what is it with guys assuming that I "shack up" with people? I never even heard the term until Mr. ______ suggested that I shacked up with another girl. I was confused on several levels. Does he like to think about me shacking up with girls because he's interested in hot lesbian lust, or do I give off vibes that I'm gay? Another young man of recent acquaintance, A Mr. W. L. asked me at once if I was looking to "shack up" with someone when I only meant to inquire if anyone lived in the vicinity of my house and could give me a ride home. Do I give off an air of being promiscuous?

One more question...that meteor that's supposed to be a near miss to earth in 2025? What does it rate on the Torino scale?

Grrar.

Thu, 17 May 2007 18:20:53 GMT

I went to an anime showing at Morton last Friday, but I was very out of sorts. I hadn't slept in two days, so once the lights were dark, I was, um, out.

Also, maybe it was my fault, but while people were laughing every two lines the character said, I was wondering what was so funny...maybe I was coming in on the tail end of things, wasn't familiar with the characters...whatever.

I'm definitely going to the International Street Fair on Saturday. It's from 11:00 AM to 5:00 PM. I encourage the two people who read this blog to skive off work and hang out with me. It'll be a rockin' good time.

Also...

I saw the guy whom I've been crushing on listening to Brother Micah preach on the Green. He was sitting there with his shoes off. I walked up and began heckling him, just because he and his preaching buddy, Jesse was there and they piss me off SO much.

I'm afraid I wasn't being very attractive, you know, yelling and generally being a nuisance. I've not the smallest hope for anything with his guy now.

Do you know of any places that would be hiring over the summer?

I may have a job opportunity in Logan. As much as I hate Brother Micah the Open-Air Preacher, I do like attending Church camp, as I have been doing every summer since my freshman year of high school. I may get to be a counselor there...it's pretty good money: food, lodging and $2100 (probably a little less) for the entire summer.

But it will be grueling work. Ten camps, ten different batches of campers, and ten weeks. Just one day off, Saturday. I won't be able to sleep when I like, or even when I'm exhausted, which is daunting because I need at least 7.5 hours of sleep every night in order to function.

It's beautiful countryside though. And totally worth it. There's no internet at all.

NO COMPUTERS AT ALL FOR 10 WEEKS? WILL I SURVIVE? ONLY TIME CAN TELL.

Elena.

Brother Micah

Fri, 11 May 2007 13:17:20 GMT

So I'm walking along, it's a normal day, right? And I see this huge group of students standing around. So naturally I go up to see what it's all about. Scarlett is eating a potato with sour cream.

It turns out that there was a man named "Brother Michah," aka Micah Armstrong, who is a traveling preacher from Miami, Florida. He visits college campuses across the nation spreading his fundamental version of the gospel.

According to the Athens News:

"During his visit, he often managed to provoke students with his harsh condemnation of their behavior or status. This has been a perennial rite of spring on the college green since the early 1970s."

Well, all I know is that I joined in the group of jeering students I got really worked up. He kept saying, "God wants this," and "God tells you that." I finally ended up yelling at him because my friend walked up and she and her boyfriend were kissing. He started yelling at them about fornication and he called James a "whore mongerer." That sounds like an insult off of Anchorman or something.

He condemned a girl for wearing a short skirt.

There were several young men in the audience who were carrying pitchforks and wearing black, one of them was carring a sign and waving it to cars that were passing by. The sign said, "Honk if you love sin!"

Well, that's only half the story. He condemned gays, even though there was an obviously gay man standing next to him. Then a guy who graduated one year before me (who will remain unnamed to protect both the innocent and the guilty) took off his shirt and started "dancing" around Brother Micah in a really suggestive way, rubbing his chest and just making a nuisance of himself.

It was funny and morbid at the same time. Like, watching a train wreck. You can't stop looking, and it's transfixing. Like I said...morbidly fascinating.

I stayed and listened to this dude preach fire and brimstone for almost two hours. I didn't agree with anything he said. What happened to the loving God, I asked him? Well, he told me that God wasn't tolerant and didn't tolerate sin, and that I shouldn't quote the Bible out of context, which was exactly what he had been doing for the last hour and a half. He condemned me, shut me down, and didn't even answer my question.

Ugh.

Fotos.

Thu, 10 May 2007 12:15:15 GMT

Here are some pictures I'll post just because.

Yeah, Cosplay is cool.

Google hacking.

Wed, 09 May 2007 18:06:55 GMT

Those of you who read this are probably haxxxors already, but I thought I might throw in something that I've found useful.

Some of you probably know about Boolean logic for search engines, or at least, I'm sure at least one of the two people who read this blog do. You know, operators. AND, OR, NOT, et al.

Well, I decided to combine a few things. Apache is extremely exploitable, as it's Open Source and over 60% of the websites on the Internet use it as a backbone for their pages' index.

Well, just like all sites have an INDEX, you can search their indexes using this little gem of a hack. This means you can look at the root of their files.

Try typing this into the Google search engine:

?intitle:index.of AMV

What do you get? Some sites are really shady; once when I searched this I came up with two sites with the word "Defcon" in their URLs.

Well, it's not that good of a search. A lot of the time, the links are broken or inaccessible. But I mostly use it for ripping music off of people's websites.

?intitle:index.of mp3 "Cracker - Low"

The first link you come up with is one from Technohippie.com. Yeah, you heard me.

The whole thing with the guy is that I feel jilted. And that makes me angry, not at him but mostly at myself. Now that I know what his feelings are, I have only to be ashamed of what my own are. It may be a stretch to call him a sexist jerk-off, but it makes me feel better.

Try giving that song a listen. It's one of my favorites, probably one of the sweetest love songs without being sloppy. Very nice.

Tractor Ears

Tue, 08 May 2007 18:30:14 GMT

zomg

It's the pirate your mother warned you about. Note: Not for the faint of heart. Or, in general, not for men. How's that?

This is one of the best made movies I have ever seen. It involves Master Chief's helmet being removed and Samus Aran.

God, it's delightful. Check it out...OR ELSE.

So yesterday I was walking along West State and who should I see but Mr. ________. He sort of waved to me from his car window, which was open, and I very nearly flipped him off. I lifted my wrist with every intention to elevate the finger but I didn't quite get around to it, as I used my hand to push my face away from his direction. I was so embarassed.

I got to the West State St. ballfields later, and I realized that after trying to rationalize my actions, it simply felt better to feel good about myself because I can be a bitch. I can be irrational. I can be unpredictable. And it feels good, on occasion.

In the AIM conversation in which he rejected me, I asked him, "If you are not returning my calls on purpose, or you're just trying to give me the hint and hoping I'll get it, just tell me now."

He told me he wasn't interested in me for anything other than friends.

"Well shit," I said. "Fine." I paused and then said, "I didn't want to be anything more than friends with you anyway." To which he replied, "Then I don't see what the point of that IM was."

Well, I guess that little incident yesterday proved that I was lying.

I was lying.

haxx0r

Mon, 07 May 2007 23:32:21 GMT

Here is a sample from my Facebook.

^My profile picture

Rawr, my Cell

Mon, 07 May 2007 12:06:14 GMT

I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do.

I am so confused right now.

I just realized how sexist Dillon's away message was, and how hard it would have been for me to like him.

But I do.

And just so you know...

LEAVE COMMENTS

I wish I was that cigarette

Fri, 04 May 2007 17:51:23 GMT

So today I'm browsing people's away messages on AIM, right?

I come across Mr. _______'s away message.

Oho boy.

" I am once again reminded why i have stayed single my whole life. women are an unpredictable and irrational creature."

Holy shit.

Did he somehow come across one of my entries where I shot up Jimmy John's? Is that it? Maybe I flatter myself by thinking that I have influence enough to the point that he would have his away message pertain to something I had done or expressed.

I am kicking myself. Right now.

One more thing: Two people who read this...

Leave comments, it's the only way I get paid.

ZOMG

Thu, 03 May 2007 18:24:03 GMT

I've been obsessed with the social bookmarking site del.icio.us. It's awesome.

I've been tasked with writing a paper on the website Suicidegirls.com for a class I'm in. There's so much good information, but hardly any of it is credible enough that I could cite it without arousing suspicion.

Yeah.

I've been really getting into some Pirates of the Caribbean fanfiction for the last two-three days. It began when I saw a picture:

So I got really distracted by that, and it all went downhill from there.

I'm excitedly anticipating going to JCon, but my mother informs me (bleargh) that I must be home by 11PM. But basically, that's five hours in which to enjoy myself...or not.

I don't remember how long JCon has been going on, but when I was in 7th grade, my mom took me to something (might've been an old JCon?). There was this live-action thing where it was set up so that there was footage of an Iron Chef TV show, and people had practiced doing the same things as the Iron Chef, so that it looked like there we video cameras trained on them and that the show was actually what was going on on the monitor (?).

And there were people watching anime.

I don't remember much about that, because I was sort-of kind-of into anime, not any of the serious stuff, just Pokemon and some other stuff from WB channel.

There were some things my mom objected to, like some gestures in a dance that was going on, but I was really confused most of the time. Now that I think about it, we were members of AFIS (Athens Friends of International Students) and we probably were paired with someone from Japan.

Interesting.

glomp

Tue, 01 May 2007 15:54:36 GMT

Oh, wow.

I am totally in love with the cat picture that 0okami-Digital made! If his intent was for me to clap my hands with joy, squeal, and print out the picture and show it my general acquaintance, then he certainly succeeded.

I don't know.

Ever since I got that call from Schoolkids (telling me I didn't get the job), I've sort of felt like screaming. I went into the woods last night and had a good cry, for which I've been long overdue. I was out until 1AM in the morning and I slept outside. I woke up feeling cold and sort of stiff from lying on the ground and I still had to go to class in Athens. I had to get a ride with my mom, she leaves at 7:30 AM. So I'm just sort of sitting in Alden, waiting for something to happen.

I've been "stalking" JCon...not exactly stalking, because it requires far more effort that what I am doing now, simply reading the LJ and checking out Facebook every few minutes. The problem is that my mother is very conservative and regulates my actions very strictly. I thought I had gotten away from this when I lived with Sky. I never anticipated moving back home.

My curfew:

Midnight, weekends

10:30, weeknights

She tells me that I have to get my own rides or get a car (not practical). And the only way to jack into the net is from my cellphone.

The only thing that's keeping me going is Pirates of the Carribean fanfiction and Bawls highly caffeinated soda.

Do you desire to know me better? 98 Questions...

Mon, 30 Apr 2007 13:13:25 GMT

Listening to: Ron Sexsmith "Hard Barginer"
Reading: Stardust
Watching: An endless stream of fate and lies
Playing: My six-string
Drinking: Stone Sours

1) Full Name: Vilma Doris Anaya (At one point)

2) Male/Female: Female

3) Were you named after anyone?: Hehe...almost.

4) Does your name mean anything?: It's a form of the Greek "helena," meaning, "White light that shines about the world, or somthing like that I'm too lazy to look it up.

5) Nick Name(s): punk, dork, geek

6) What do you think you look like... name wise: Vanessa. (?)

7) Date Of Birth: 1/7/87

8) Place of Birth and Current Location: La Ceiba, Honduras CA; Athens, Ohio US

9) Nationality: Mestizo

10) Astrology Sign: Capricorn

11) Chinese Astrology Sign: Snake, baby!

12) Religion: Well, I hate to deny Christ.

13) Whats your favorite smell?: CK Euphoria (Men's) or Ralph Polo Black (Men's). Also, Fresh's Cannabis (not kidding) scent

15) What do you prefer to drink in the morning?: No one likes super-cold water with lemon in it like ME.

16) Hair + Eye color: brown/brown

17) Do you look like anyone famous?: Uh, no.

18) What do you look like?: Well, I have two different looks. When my hair is straight, I look like a really different person. I hate the way my hair naturally is because it makes my face look chubby...awww.

19) Any unusual talents?: I can tricks like doing flips and cartwheels and stuff.

20) Righty, Lefty, or Ambidextrous?: Right

21) Gay, Straight, Bi, or Other?: STRAIGHT

22) What do you do for a living?: Hopefully something with computer art or designing video games. Although it's hard, I hope to break into the field of programming small electronics and maybe work for a cellphone company or move up to Seattle to work on VRD.

23) What do you do for fun?:T3H INTERNET

24) What are your favorite art materials to work with?: Charcoals, my cameraphone (bleh) and my favorite drawing paper (70 lb, I think).

25) What kind of materials would you like to work with?: Digital Photography...DSLR, here I come!

26) Have you met your grandparents?: Never

27) Boyfriend/Girlfriend: Never

28) Crush: I haven't had a crush in about a year

29) What celebrity would you date if you could?: Um, Angelina Jolie. She transcends everything.

30) Current worries?: That meteor that's supposed to hit earth in 2025.

31) Favorite online Guy/Girl(s): !

32) Favorite place to be?: In front of my lovely computer, on the green, by the smithy.

33) Least favorite place to be?: In a gym with no other females present.

34) Do you burn or tan?: Tan, though sometimes I get sun-sickness.

35) Ever break a bone?: No

36) What is your favorite cereal?: Special K

37) Person you cry with: I've been long overdue for a good cry...about one and a half years.

Do You Have...

38) Any sisters: The love of my life.

39) Any brothers: We pretty much ignore him

40) Any pets: One really stupid dog, she's so cute...

41) An Illness: You're better off not knowing

42) A Pager: No

43) A Personal phone line: My mom forwards my calls

44) A Cell phone: Yes

45) A visible birthmark: On my decolletes...I'm getting it removed.

46) A Pool or hot tub: A hot tub every time in the winter, a pool in the summer.

47) A Car: Are you kidding me?

Describe Your...

48) Personality: weird mentally

49) Driving: I hate driving, I have to get rides everywhere which is super lame.

50) Your clothing style: Whatever.

51) Room: its purple and black

52) What’s missing: paint on the walls and all of my posters

53) School: OU

54) Bed: pallet on the floor

55) Relationship with your parent(s): Eh.

56) Do You believe in yourself: That really depends on what I'm trying to attempt.

57) Do you believe in love at first sight?: Do I really have to answer that?

58) Consider yourself a good listener: Not really, no. Except I try to listen when people talk on the phone.

59) Have a future dream that you would like to share?: I want to
invent something really cool, or work on an Open Source project that would make me known throughout the world!

60) Get Along with your parents: No

61) Save your e-mail conversations: Always

62) Pray: To be honest...whenever I want something.

63) Believe in reincarnation: Yes...it makes sense.

64) Brush your teeth twice a day?: Yes

65) Like to talk on the phone: Undoubtedly.

66) Like to eat?: Yes.

67) Like to exercise?: What, you mean sitting on my ass in front of a computer screen ISN'T exercising?

68) Like to watch sports?: Football and hockey

69) Sing in the car?: Once in a blue moon.

70) What is a dream that you have all the time?: That I have mage powers because I rock. Or I'm trying to save the world, or someone, or get "left behind."

71) Dream in color: Always.

72) Do you have nightmares?: Not often, but when I do it's unforgettable.

73) Sleep with a stuffed animal: I broke myself of that before I went to college.

74) Right next to you: A 40 oz.

75) On your favorite coffee cup?: r00t

76) On your mouse pad: Buck Fush

77) Your favorite flavor of gum?: Cherry

78) Your brand of deodorant?: Sugar Deodorant...it's expensive but worth it.

79) Your dream honeymoon spot: Cali

80) Your dream husband/wife: Colin Firth

81) Hiding in your closet?: Don't have one

82) Under your bed: Nothing

83) The name of one of your closest/best friends?: Scarlett

84) Your bad time of the day: Mornings

85) Your worst fear(s): Knives and things that can cut me, like razors, violence on TV

86) What's the weather like: Spring-like

87) Your favorite time of year?: Summer

88) Your favorite holiday?: Halloween

89) A material weakness?: Oooh...computer

90) The weirdest food or drink that you like: Scrambled eggs with grape jelly...poor man's breakfast but extremely tasty.

91) At the top of your "to-do list"?: Apply for more scholarships.

92) The hardest thing about growing up: Money, Responsibilities

93) A pet peeve?: Ugly chicks who wear t-shirts saying "pretty," or "angel," or "princess," or shirts that prominently feature Mickey Mouse, Tweety Bird, or Eeyore.

94) Your scariest moment: January, Friday 13 2007

95) Your attitude about love?: SUCKS

96) The funniest or most desperate thing you've done to get the attention of the opposite sex?: Pinged his IP non-stop

97) The worst feeling in the world: Not knowing

98) The best feeling in the world: Revenge

Ugh.

Mon, 30 Apr 2007 12:23:52 GMT

There's only so much rejection one person can take.

Romantic...Monday.

Of a Friend...Thursday.

Of a large group of people...Thursday.

Of a job...Saturday. (?)

I don't know what to do. I still harbor some small sliver of hope that I can still be hired at Schoolkids, but it is slipping away very quickly. I will call at 11 today to see if...well.

It's quite lonely to be me.

Now, excuse me while I up my emo quotient.

Well...

Fri, 27 Apr 2007 17:36:02 GMT

I did the job interview for bananaroad.com/Schoolkids yesterday, and I think I did quite well. I got asked questions, like, "What would [you] contribute to the work environment," etc. I answered as best I could.

Also something I had guessed at but didn't know; DJ Barticus (of the Union's Dance or Die fame) works at Schoolkids. He is quite cool, an illustrious personage of this college town. I would be sorry not to know him better.

Later.

Am I really that scary?

Thu, 26 Apr 2007 18:09:52 GMT

I recieved my high school yearbook today.

Every year, the yearbooks are 1 - 1 1/2 years late.

When turning to the section of "awards," I discovered that I had been voted, "Most Likely to Commit Crimes Against Humanity."

I went back to the high school, and after talking to a couple of students, I talked to the Matrix (journalism) advisor and she yelled at me for "...taking pot shots at students." What the fuck ever. She also told me to "...talk to [her] first," and that it was a "moot point."

I don't really have anyone to complain to except you, dear LiveJournal.

Life is such a bitch.

Rejection's face stares at me from all sides...except maybe Tamryn's. I'm too stupid to know the difference between enemity and um...como se dice..."jealosy?" But maybe that's too harsh a word...I can't ever be mad at her.

I wish I could take a long, long vacation. Me, myself, and I. And maybe some random guy with a nice face and a pleasant voice.

Here goes nothing.

Thu, 26 Apr 2007 16:47:10 GMT

When I came to America eleven years ago, my sister and I used to listen to National Public Radio (NPR) non-stop. We loved all of the shows, especially A Prairie Home Companion. We listened to classical music during the day and indie music at night.

My first years in America were very good. My sister and I were "cute," and at church people would always ask us if we were twins. We weren't, of course, but sometimes it was fun to pretend.

About a year and a half ago, my sister got involved with a guy who was a Jehovah's Witness. He estranged her from us--her family--and told us not to contact her. She would sneak calls to me from the pay phone, and ended every hurried convesation with the words, "I love you."

I lived for those moments.

Last month, she broke up with her boyfriend, now her ex. She completely broke off contact with him and took a week off of school to come see me and our adoptive parents.

She and I were walking around Court Street when she spotted this really shady-looking guy. His eyes were red-rimmed, which probably meant that he had been smoking marijuana. I vaguely recognized him from high school, but she left with him and told me she'd call me at one and drive me home.

I hung out at Jimmy John's for a while, confiding in my former co-worker, Tamryn. She and Dillon were there...I stayed for about one and a half hours. I was wearing a cute mod skirt and open-toed sandals, but I was soaking wet. This was two Saturdays ago.

E.